Climax de Hiatus: A TV Scorecard

Every show on the nets seems to be going on hiatus -- some for a few weeks, some for a few months.  Among the Rusherrific shows, a number are skidding to a (temporary) halt for quite a long spell ... and the last go-rounds of '09 run the gamut, from the classic cliffhanger to the satisfying pause that refreshes.  Let's be completely arbitrary and take an admittedly spoiler-iffic look at the last pre-hiatus episodes of some of our faves and not-so-faves ...

Stargate Universe: B+  This latest in the apparently immortal line of the Stargate franchise has been  decidedly upsy-downsy since its inception, with some of the best sf on TV in recent years and some of the whiniest do-nothing installments on record.  The tension between the militarists, civillians, and scientists all stuck on this Ancients' Ship to Nowhere has been growing since the beginning, and the chief scientist has been a manipulative and callous asshole from the git-go.  We knew something  had to happen .. but did any of us really think the military leader of this accidental expedition would actualy abandon the slimeball on a planet and walk away?  Yeah, sure, there's a ship there; we know the bastard's going to get it working and come curising back home as the second half's super-villain, but still: harsh, dude.  And rather cool.  Way to advance the premise.

White Collar: C-  Admittedly, this USA Network conman-and-FBI agent 'buddy' show baely qualifies as a mystery or a thirller, but the charm and chemistry between the two principles is undeniable.  That's why the final scene in the last epi was so unforgiveable. The Con Man has been bonding with the Agent all season long, as he helps solve lots of silly high-profile swindle-cases and murders while he not-so-secretly searches for his long=-lost girlfirend (who doesn't want to be found.)  And now, after al this bonding and banter, now we get a scene tha shows the agent as the bad-guy with the kidnapped babe in hiding, Now, come on.  We are not idiots.  Quite.  Yet.  You're not going to throw away one of the two stars on a cheap left-field play like this; you know the first line of the post-hiatus episode is something like, "How did you find me?" or it'll turn out she's the one doing the blackmailing or something else equally cheap and manipulative.  I would have thought better of this moderately clever show.  Now all that's keepingus watching is the denoument, not the characters we'd actually started to like.  *Sigh*

V: D+  And frankly it's be a straight "D" if it weren't for Morena Baccarin, who's so beautiful you have to bump the grade just for her alone (not to mention Alan Tudyk.  Hey, Firefly fans.  When do you think Nick Castle will be makin a cameo?)  The only notable thing about the end of the four-part (four parts?  That's it?) Fall "season" (more like an Indian summer) is that it was exaclty like the other three parts: nothing happened.  The big reveal is a yawner: "Ooooh, look!  More ships!"  And the "secret" of the aliens' real reason for being here makes no sense.  What, they want to use us for food?  This is n advanced civilization that can fly faster tha light; they can aleady grow human flesh so easily they use it as a cheap disguise for infiltrators.  You mean to tell us they haven't invented the concept of domestic farm animals?  Or even grow-in-a-vat Human Snacks?  What are we, a delicacy?  Have we become human caviar And besides, it's hard to take an alient race seriously when it has FTL ships but still uses hypdoermic needles, and apparenlty dislikes its own culture so much that the invaders speak English even when they're alone and away from humans.  *Yawn*  Possibly the most do-nothing non-delivery of the year here.  What was all the fuss about in the first place?  And if they don't think this dud of a conclusion is oging to hurt them, check and see who remembers (or cares) about this hsow when it reapears on teh schedule in four months.  By then, Chuck will be back and V will be a distant memory.

Glee: A.  Yes, it's not really a Rush kind'a show, but it does show you how a hiatus-break epi should work.  All the complex story lines established in the previous six episodes nicely and surprisingly tied up, a strong sense of completion, and yet enough open questions about pregnancies, revenge plots, and new romance to make you ache for its return, and yet be patient for the long, long break for the holidays and American Idol.  If only SGU, White Collar, and especially V had finished up the first half of their respective seasons with half as much lass and content.  We would all be the richer for it.

As it is .. hey, anybody got a spare copy of Christmas Story?  We haven't seen it twenty times this season.  Yet.  We can't wait.