Dean Koontz Goes a Little Funny in the Head

Relentless ... or Ridiculous?

It's almost not news that Dean Koontz has a new book out his month. Dean Koontz always has a new book out this month. Or next month. Or last month.

This new one, Relentless, has all the Koontzian commonplaces: a 'soft' man -- a writer -- as hero, with a brilliant kid, and wonderful dog, and a big-ass problem with evil/madness.

But there is something different about this one: basically, it's so over the top, we're not sure if Dean's kidding or not.

In Relentless, the protagonist is a relatively successful novelist, "Cubby" Greenwich ("Cubby"? Really?), whose new book gets widespread good reviews .. except from Sherman Waxx, "the nation's premier literary critic." Waxx (what is it with these names?) hates Cubby's book, and apparently in this Koontzian parallel world, people actually read and pay attention to book reviewers (ew! It's like Salem's Lot, only with critics!).

Cubby's career and mental stability immediately crumble because of the Waxx's wrath, so -- of course! -- he obsesses on Waxx. He even finds out where the creep has lunch, at a bistro in Southern California that just happens to be near Cubby's own digs, and in an ... odd? ... confrontation, Cubby's ever-so-cute six-year-old son -- a prodigy, of course -- nearly pees on the literary lion. To which the critic responds in the only way a nationally recognized book critic could: he blows up Cubby's house.

No. Really. He blows up his house.

Now Cubby and his family are on the run, and the damn near omniscient critic is giving chase. There's even a science fictional element thrown in rather late in the game, to justify some of the more absurd aspects of the story, but all in all, one is rather forced to ask oneself ... what the hell?

You could read this as a dark satire, or as a revenge fantasy from a very successful but wholly unappreciated pop fiction writer, or just a really bad idea for a thriller. There is an element of the irrational in the entire genre, we're aware of that: some absurdly awful thing that happens at just the right time to just the right person to make an interesting story. But this?

Dean Koontz himself wrote one of the best books ever about writing popular fiction called -- get this -- Writing Popular Fiction. It's out of print now, damn it, but we're sure Dean's got a few copies floating around in the library of his Orange County, California home. Maybe it's time to take a quick re-reading and follow some of his own advice. 'Cause Mr. Koontz? Relentless? Not so much.